Have a Mary Christmas!

Martha squeezed her way through the crowd of people who had come into her home to hear Jesus speak. She carried a large bowl filled with pomegranates, grapes, and figs. She set these on the wooden table and went back to get the bread she had made earlier in the day. Where is Mary? She thought, as she tore the bread into bite-size pieces and set the chunks on a clay platter. Again, she fought her way through the throng of people to put the bread on the table.

A crippled man dressed in rags, sitting on the dusty floor near the doorway to her kitchen, the doorway she had come in and out of nearly 100 times in the past hour, reached out and touched her hand as she passed. “May I have some water,” he asked. She pushed a strand of hair away from her face as she looked down at him. “Sure,” she answered realizing her own throat was parched. She hadn’t had time to eat or drink anything yet today. Again, she wondered, Where on earth is Mary? I can’t take care of all these people myself. She found a mug, poured some water into it, and handed it to the man.

The room was so full of people. Many of them had traveled miles to hear Jesus speak. They were all hungry and thirsty and she wanted to provide food and drink for them. She wanted them to find her home a refuge, a place to relax and to soak up the words Jesus spoke. Words that had power to touch peoples lives, and change them forever.

When Jesus was present, you never knew what would happen. Just recently he had healed a boy possessed by an evil spirit. A week ago he had feed thousands of people with only five loaves and two fish. She could hear his familiar voice resonating throughout her home, but she didn’t have time to listen to his message. It was her duty to take care of all these people.

A young man dressed in a purple robe lined with expensive satin came towards her. “The bread is gone, do you have any more?” She recognized him as one of the vendors in town who sold spices in the market place. “I do. I will be right back with another plate,” she answered. As she pushed her way toward the kitchen, anger rose in her chest. She felt her heart begin to beat quickly. She glanced around the room trying to find Mary. She needed her help, desperately. “Where is that girl?”

Martha stood on her tiptoes and looked over the heads of the crowd to where Jesus sat. He sat on a wooden chair next to the fire in the fireplace, which she noticed needed more wood. Then she spotted Mary. She was sitting on the floor at Jesus feet. The bubble of anger she felt a few moments earlier burst. She couldn’t believe her eyes.

Didn’t Mary know how much work it took to serve all these people? And, Jesus instead of rebuking Mary for not helping serve all these needy people, He was allowing her to just sit at His feet. Meanwhile Martha ran around like a chicken with her head cut off. She forced her way towards Jesus and Mary. She had been running herself ragged taking care of all these people while Mary was just sitting on the floor! Mary hadn’t even noticed that the fire was going out. Couldn’t she at least take care of the fire? Why should I have to do all the work? Martha fumed.

Forgetting about the wealthy young man who asked for more bread, Martha continued towards Jesus. He saw her coming and paused for a moment, knowing she wanted to talk to him. Her anger towards Mary consumed her.

“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her to help me,” Martha demanded.

Jesus looked into Martha’s eyes, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken from her.” Jesus’ words pierced her heart.

She felt the tears well up in her eyes. Jesus, who had the power to heal, and to do miracles, had been right in her midst teaching, and she had spent the time being busy and anxious and totally missing the blessings he offered. She looked at Mary who seemed so peaceful. She had a glow about her, a joy Martha didn’t have.

Jesus continued speaking to the crowd as Martha placed a few pieces of wood on the fire. She stopped and really listened. “…This is how you should pray, ‘Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done…” What a fool I’ve been, she chided herself. I invited Jesus into my home but I’ve been too busy to enjoy his presence. She didn’t want to miss another word so she sat down next to Mary, and put her hand on Mary’s hand. Mary smiled and leaned into Martha as together they sat at Jesus feet, warmed by the glowing fire, and listened to His words that offered hope, wisdom and life.


As Christmas approaches many women get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season. Like Martha, women become anxious and very, very busy. Instead of a time of peace, Christmas has become a time of stress and anxiety. Many women overspend, become exhausted from all the activities, and try to meet extremely demanding expectations – like fixing a Bon Apetite meal, decorating their homes to look like the pictures in Martha Stewart Living, and creating unrealistic Hallmark family moments.

No wonder a recent online survey discovered the words that first come to a woman’s mind during the holiday season are “stress,” and “anxiety”. In this same survey, many women confessed they struggled more during the holidays with depression, and many turned to over eating and alcohol to decrease their anxiety. We’ve come a long way since Martha and Mary, but we’re still struggling with the same issues Martha did. We get caught up in being busy, we fret over what gifts to give, we focus on decorating our homes, and fixing impressive foods. Many of our motives are good – to serve others, to create an inviting environment, to create meaningful traditions, but if the result is stress and anxiety, then we’re on the wrong path.

Remembering the birth of Jesus should be a time of peace. He is the Prince of Peace and He longs for us to rest in Him, not be busy because of Him.

So, this year I challenge you to experience Christmas like you never have before. Spend time each day at Jesus feet. Find a quiet moment and a quiet place and read the Bible, soak in the words He is saying to you.

Don’t let another Christmas pass without remembering what it’s all about. Celebrate Jesus birth with a new heart, a heart desiring to know Him and enjoy Him. Don’t have another Martha Christmas - this year have a very “Mary” Christmas.

Mr. and Mrs..... or Not (used by permission from MOPS International)

My husband, Zane, and I feel it’s important to raise polite children. As parents of three boys this has been challenging to say the least.

When they were young we were trying to decide how they should address adults. Should we teach them to say Mr. and Mrs.? Or is it okay to use first names? We decided we would go the more formal route and speak to adults using titles such as Mr. and Mrs.…..until the Wieners moved in next door.

When the boys first heard their last name, after fits of laughter, our middle son, Jordan, asked, “Do we have to call them Mr. and Mrs. Wiener, or can we please just call them Dan and Nancy?” Again, uncontrolled giggles erupted from all the boys, including Zane.

This was a tough one. Do we break our rule on how to address adults or do we force our boys to try to keep a straight face every time they say “hello” to our new neighbors? This, by the way, would be practically impossible.

We decided we could bend the rules on this one. It would be fine to call them Dan and Nancy. In fact, we determined it would be more polite to call them by their first names rather than stifle a laugh every time our boys encountered them.

Teaching children manners is an important aspect of life, but more importantly teaching children to behave in a way that is most respectful to those they encounter is what really matters and is what we hope to instill in our boys.

Colors Don't Clash

Jordan walked out of his room wearing his new green and gray plaid shorts and his favorite purple and yellow-stripped polo shirt, a fashion disaster according to rules of style and color coordination, but not according to Jordan. He smiled at me, proud of his bright colors, his new clothes, and his ability to get himself dressed. He had no clue it didn’t match, and of course he didn’t care.

So, why did I care? Maybe it’s because I look at too many magazines showing adorable kids in their matching clothes, or walk through too many malls and admire the children’s clothing displays, or because all of my friend’s children always look so charming.

I’m sure my upbringing and lessons in how to dress for success play a role in my fashion expectations for my children. Whatever the reason, I had to bite my tongue to not ask him to go change his clothes. And I had to squelch the urge I felt to take his hand, walk him back into his bedroom, open his drawers and pull out the solid green shirt I bought to go with those plaid shorts and then somehow bribe him into wearing it. But as I looked at him and saw his big, bright, chocolate brown eyes and his sweet smile, I chose not to care. Besides, he looked adorable in all those colors.

That’s when I decided children, should be allowed their own set of rules when it comes to fashion. This encourages children’s self-sufficiency, creativity and confidence, and also makes my life a little easier. So, here are our family’s seven golden rules for toddler fashion, (subject to change as they grow older.)

Rule #1 - Colors Don’t Clash – Just ask God. All of creation is filled with beautiful, vibrant colors all mixed together¾colors that take your breath away. So, let children wear as many colors as they want.

Rule #2- Mismatched Socks Are Cool – Sorting socks out of the dryer is at the bottom of my “to do” list each day. To me, it’s a huge waste of time¾time I could use to push my child in the park swing, take cookies to a sick neighbor, or finish an article like this one. So, we keep a basket by the dryer, drop the socks into it, and then my kids pick and choose their favorites and wear those, not caring whether they match or not.
Rule #3 – Costumes Can be Worn Year Round – Children love to wear costumes so why limit it to one day a year? Besides those costumes are costly, you might as well get your money’s worth.

Rule # 4 – Crazy Hair Day is Any Day – Some days the hair brushing battle is just not worth it. Make it fun by letting the child do whatever he or she wants with his/her hair. Brush it straight up, or put in all sorts of pony tails with fun ribbons, or go out with bed head, whatever works for you and your child.
Rule # 5– Wearing Something Two Days in A Row is Okay– Most children have a few favorite items they like to wear, over and over and over again. As long as it’s not dirty, I let my boys keep out their clothes for the next day. This saves me the time of doing a load of laundry, and prevents the battle of getting everyone dressed on time.

Rule # 6– Shoes Should be Comfortable – There are lots of adorable shoes in the world but very few that are really comfortable. Children should be able to run and play all day so comfortable shoes are a must. My boys favorite are their snow boots, if they wear shoes at all during the summer, most likely it’ll be their big comfy boots.

Rule # 7 –Looking Good on the Inside Matters Most - The pressure to look perfect begins at an early age. As a mom I want to make sure my children know that what matters most is on the inside, not what they wear on the outside. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, “Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord Looks at the heart.”

Next time Jordan comes walking down the stairs in his purple shirt, plaid green shorts, mis-matched socks and snow boots, I'll take his hand in mine and say,"Let's go."